Dear Dr. Presson,
I need your help.
When my wife Meredith and I got married she knew I loved Corvettes.
She knew they were my dream cars. Over the past year she has had every 2017
Stingray pointed out to her and she knows that if I ever was able to get one, it would be a yellow convertible.
So here is the problem. Earlier today there was a Camaro driving down the Interstate in front of us. She asked if it was a Corvette. I was able to move beyond this offense because a Camaro is still a really cool car and I would be OK with one of those too, but then the unthinkable happened.
Tonight, we were walking out of Kroger when she remembered we had parked near a “Red Corvette.” I was a little surprised, because my radar didn’t go off that a Corvette was within 1,000 yards when I parked.
As we approached our car, I was deeply disturbed. The “Red Corvette” she had mentioned was actually a Ford Mustang, and not even a nice one.
Is this marriage salvageable?
Signed – Confused Corvette Lover at Kroger
Thank you for your question. It’s very common for many women, Danica Patrick
excluded, to be confused by the make and model of automobiles or pick-up trucks.
However, if your wife is ever unable to distinguish between a sedan and a pick-up
truck then you should either send her to an optometrist for eye exam or to a neurologist for a brain scan.
But just because your wife apparently cannot distinguish between a Chevy Corvette and an AMC Pacer, before you divorce and toss her in the marital junk yard like a totaled Ford Taurus (which by the way, can be innocently confused with the Mercury Sable) you would do well to remember some differences that you often fail to recognize:
- Guest towels versus regular towels
- Blush versus eye shadow
- Baking soda versus baking powder
- The color blue versus the color periwinkle
- Size 4 versus Medium versus Petite Large
- A sentimental heirloom passed down from her great-grandmother versus a prized unopened can of Schlitz you’ve kept since college
- A dinner fork versus a salad fork versus a dessert fork
- The sound of a woman’s voice when she says nothing is wrong and it’s true versus the sound of a woman’s voice when you have only seconds to live.
— Dr Presson