BY ALEXANDER WILLIS
For some, Valentine’s Day is a time of romance, intimacy and a sense of closeness with their partners.
For others, it can be a stark reminder that they don’t have anyone to share it with.
Relationship coach Channa Bromley breaks down how anyone, regardless of height, income or looks, can attain, and maintain, a healthy relationship right here in Williamson County.
For every 100 women in Williamson County, there are just under 96 men, giving males a slight edge in their chances in the dating world. According to estimates from the United States Census Bureau from 2017, there are approximately 100,137 men in Williamson County, and 105,089 women.
Further breaking down the county’s demographics, the largest age range is 45 – 54, with residents within that range making up 15.9 percent of the population. Residents aged 35 – 44 make up the second largest segment, accounting for 14.8 percent of the population, with a total median age for the county of 39 years.
The ratio of men to women can be further broken down within these age demographics.
The largest difference between the amount of men and women when it comes to age ranges, excluding those over 74, are ages 30 – 34, where there are only 86 men for every 100 women in the county. The next largest difference would be between those aged 35 – 39, where there are 90 men for every 100 women.
The single largest difference between the amount of men and women in the county is between those over the age of 85, where there are only 47 men for every 100 women. It’s important to note, however, that this segment of the population only makes up 1.2 percent of the county’s population.
While men might seem to have the upper hand in the dating world in Williamson County for the time being, demographics show that for residents 24 years old and under, men surpass women in population, with there being 102 – 106 men for every 100 women between various age ranges.
Bromley says that despite any edge a particular sex may have over the other in terms of population, dating can be very different between men and women, and agreed with the popular saying, “men are from Mars and women are from Venus.”
“The difference that the sexes experience in dating is quite immense,” Bromley said. “Men encounter a lot of flakiness when they’re online dating, and women have a hard time finding men with great intentions. Men’s minds are very analytical. The way that they think, ‘if I work hard and go get it,’ that’s how they achieve in all other facets of their life, so for men, trying to grasp the concepts of attraction, chemistry and flirting isn’t really conducive with how they thrive in other parts of their life.”
For women, Bromley says that since entering the workforce at increasingly higher numbers, relationships have often been placed on the back burner in lieu of career aspirations.
“Women have struggled where now they’re in the workforce,” Bromley said. “They’re very goal-oriented and have a hard time embracing their feminine side, taking off that work hat and embracing their feminine side in dating as well. It’s really having to figure out, also individually, what are people’s limiting stories, what is holding them back and having the love they desire.”
One key component Bromley says is essential in fostering a romantic relationship, is being authentic.
One of the most common points she argues with her female clients, Bromley said, is those women who demand that their partners to be at least 6 feet tall, which she called “unrealistic.” Studies find that a large portion of men misrepresent their height on online dating sites to be a few inches or more taller than their actual height.
“If I could only choose one piece of advice, it would be initially positioning [yourself] authentically, but favorably,” Bromley said. “How [you] are making [your] [dating] profile is essential; being realistic, what their deal-breakers [are], making sure that you’re using platforms that are in alignment with your dating intentions, and just making sure that dating is light and playful.”
For those already in a relationship, but may be seeing a dimming of their passion, Bromley says constant work is essential.
“New science shows us that perhaps care bonding wasn’t what humans were actually wired to do, and the closer intimately and emotionally you are with somebody, the passion [and] desire does dissipate,” Bromley said. “Therefore, putting effort into the relationship and consciously choosing your partner every day is pivotal to maintain that passion. It’s essential that you prioritize the relationship.”
And lastly, for those who may be struggling to even land that first date, Bromley says it’s a matter of shaping yourself into your best you.
“You need to put yourself out there first and foremost, and also you need to ask yourself: ‘would I date me,” Bromley said. “Because if you wouldn’t date you, then you can’t expect anybody else to. Are you passionate, are you interesting, are you kind? Whatever you’re looking for in a partner, be clear on that, but then ask to yourself do [you] possess these qualities, and if you don’t, start working on yourself.”
Bromley has been involved in dating and relationship coaching for over 15 years, has her own private practice in relationship coaching, and is currently a senior coach at Relationship Hero, a professional relationship coaching company that helps clients reach their relationship goals through actionable steps and guidance, such as helping to create online profiles, provide advice, and everything related to dating and relationships.